What Makes You Stronger

Newsletter #64

Getting Through Tough Situations

Over my teaching career I have had to deal with a lot of difficult situations:

• experiencing an earthquake that required us to dismiss students based on emergency contacts

• getting into a car accident while driving a car of students to a field trip and the parent behind me with students rear ended my car

• explaining to students on 9/11 that the planes crashing into the Twin Towers wasn’t a cool movie or video game, but was in fact a real attack on the United States

• hiding in lockdown for hours after barricading our door because of a suspected person on campus threatening harm and then being evacuated out the classroom window by a SWAT team

• comforting fearful students after the 2016 election when they burst into terrified tears, worried that their parents would be taken by ICE

But hands down the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do occurred last week. I delivered unbelievably shocking and deeply saddening news to my second grade class: their first grade teacher unexpectedly passed away.

There was stunned silence. Disbelief. “What did you say?” They wanted to be sure they heard correctly. A mix of confused looks, heaving sobs, slow tears, pounding hearts, soft sniffles, deliberate blinks, hanging heads.

I thought there might be a lot of questions. After all, we had all seen her the day before at school shining her twinkling smile at us. There weren’t. We simply sat with it.

But after a bit of quiet time that day, and on every day since, I turned to picture books to comfort, explain, advise, teach, and heal these young children facing such a huge loss, many for the first time in their lives, of someone so important to them.

This is the power of the picture book.

Lessons of the week: understanding death, dealing with loss, learning about the various manifestations of grief, practicing different coping mechanisms, recognizing when we need support and how to ask for it, finding comfort in memories, and feeling gratitude for the privilege of knowing someone.

Books to Support After a Death

I MISS YOU MOST by Charlotte Cheng and Xindi Yan

THE HARE-SHAPED HOLE by John Dougherty and Thomas Docherty

THE ROUGH PATCH by Brian Lies

GRANDAD’S ISLAND by Benji Davies

THE NEXT PLACE by Warren Hanson

CAPE by Kevin Johnson and Kitt Thomas

STILL THIS LOVE GOES ON by Buffy Sainte-Marie and Julie Flett

BOATS FOR PAPA by Jessixa Bagley

OUR LAKE by Angie Kang

THE END OF SOMETHING WONDERFUL by Stephanie V. W. Lucianovic and George Ermos

2024 Rocky Pond Books, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC

Book Report: I MISS YOU MOST

Written by Charlotte Cheng

Illustrated by Xindi Yan

This poignant, rhyming picture book begins with the melancholy mood of the girl who feels empty without her grandfather. This changes as she begins to remember her favorite times with him, from majhong to video games to board games and more. The artist Xindi’s soft watercolors with a muted color palette evokes the mood, including a lifting of spirits with curved, tear-shaped swooshes in pastel yellows, pinks, and blues. Charlotte’s words are empathetic and comforting, loving and hopeful, creating a gentle and understanding way to navigate the loss of a loved one. It’s a wonderful book to have on hand to remind us that we continue to hold the love we’ve experienced, even when a special person is no longer with us.

Themes: love, compassion, memories, family

Discussion Ideas:

1. How and why did the main character change from the beginning to end of the story?

2. What lessons did the girl learn that you can apply to your life?

Mentor Text For:

• rhyme

• poetry

• sensory details

Link to Teacher Resources: Activity Sheets

Buy the book!

Disclosure: I am an affiliate of Bookshop.org and will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase.

I love the way the illustrator uses the words referencing her Chinese culture and brighter colors for current day events in contrast with the monochromatic memories she has of her grandfather.

Weekly Progress Report

This is a section for “stuff I did” that relates to my writing career. I believe in celebrating all wins, big and small alike.

• adjusted expectations with my agent and Regional Team because of the circumstances

• met with Regional Team to prepare for our event

• presented, hosted, and moderated at the SCBWI SF/South Virtual Agents & Editors Day

• visited one book store for Independent Bookstore Day and won an ARC!

Sending you courage and grace in all you choose to do,

Susan